hands

Back to Uni: Another challenge for my Trichotillomania.

Im back at university now. So, back to the uni routine. It has been a hard process to adjust to and even though, Im happy to be back in this youthful energy of an environment; but at the same time I wish I was still back home.

Since I have moved back, it has somehow started a bad period for my trich and I hate myself more than ever for letting that happen. There has been this wave of energy, which has made me feel anxious and stressed. This is because I have been non-stop, doing so much that literally it is boggling my brain. Everything overlaps one another. Work, my uni course, extra-curricular activites, house stuff eg making sure everything is paid and up to date and above all, keep track of my health. Making sure I dont get ill. It is alot to take in and there is the feeling of worry constantly over me. Every day is a struggle. Just to make sure that I get through one day at a time.

I was doing well before this bad period struck. I hated myself with the fact that I started again and I feel like all the work I had done before has now gone to waste. Having trich whilst still in education, is a stressful time and hard to really keep trich under control. There have been many moments so far, where I have felt down for maybe not doing well on an essay or a practical assessment, or i have got shouted at whilst at work, hearing negative news from home and even, trying to find friends to catch up with but keeping bailing on you. Yep, this has all happened to me. I am now currently, trying to find ways of picking myself up and begin that good road track again. Fingers crossed.

Various ways I try to divert my urges

Everyday is a struggle to try and not give in to the urge to pull my hair. It is like facing constant obstacles that I always have to try and overcome. Every time the urges get triggered for me, is when I am angry, sad, anxious and tense; not really being focused on my day to day activites. I get paranoid and nervous. I don’t really feel myself.

In regards to the urges themselves, my hands seem to have a mind of their own and so, whenever particular feelings are triggered then my hands seem to want to pull my hair. It is like pulling being a way to release those build up negative feelings and to become relaxed; calm again.

I have had trichotillomania for a couple of years now, so along the way there have been periods of time where I had managed to get very close or had a full head of hair. Along the way, you pick up routines or tricks to divert the urges and really make sure that you do not pull your hair.

KEY: Keep your hands occupied and busy.

Example of a few things I do to try and divert my urges:

  • I keep a diary and a plain notebook. I have found writing to be helpful. I write down anything from what ive been up during my day, any thoughts i have or even doodle.
  • Any time I am at home, I always wear a headscarf. So along the years, I have found way to be creative with headwear.
  • I learnt to be the piano throughout the years and so, if I was near the piano  I would play a couple of tunes.
  • Going for a run or a walk. I have found it a great way to clear my hand and get some fresh air.
  • Reading
  • Drawing/Painting
  • Go for dog walks with my dog and play with him as well.
  • Making and cooking meals for people to eat with fresh ingredients.
  • Focus on my university work. Doing research via internet, the library and making thorough notes.